Receive Family Support After an Adoption
The therapists at North Woods Christian Counseling are committed to delivering competent and sensitive care, meeting each client where they are in their process of healing.
If you have adopted and are becoming discouraged, we want you to know that there is hope! We anticipate that the challenges you are facing are real and persistent, and understand that there isn’t a quick fix. However, we know that healing can and does happen. We have seen it with our own eyes! As graduate-trained therapists, our team at North Woods Christian Counseling is able to incorporate strategies specifically focused on healing trauma, repairing attachment issues, and reducing unwanted behaviors that adopted children may display.
We understand that for many children who have been adopted, dramatic mood swings, lying, stealing, inappropriate boundaries, hoarding food, and attachment issues are all very common. We know that these behaviors are often the child’s way of trying to resolve unhealed trauma or satisfy unmet emotional needs. When we conduct therapy with a family who has adopted it, we approach it from a realistic, long-term approach. This approach is not intended to minimize the desire of parents to see real change but is rather a simple recognition that sometimes the fastest way to reach our goals is to take things slow. When it comes to working through trauma and attachment, trust and safety are everything. If things are pushed too fast, a child’s negative associations are often reinforced, and the fears that have them stuck simply increase. We have found that the most effective methods for achieving lasting results in therapy include the following:
1) Reprocesses Trauma, Build Resources, and Strengthen Attachment with the Children
In general, children have difficulty expressing their pain with words. In light of this, healing often comes through self-expression, creativity, and metaphor. A child might not have the words to articulate their pain, but they often are able to find their voice through play or through drawing. Our therapists regularly use art therapy and play therapy with children because these methods help them get their feelings out rather than keep them bottled up. We will often include parents in therapy sessions because this creates the opportunity for their emotional attachment with their children to be strengthened. We use directive and non-directive play therapy methods, and may also incorporate EMDR Therapy.
2) Pay Attention to the Family System
Our therapists have been trained to diagnose not only individuals but entire family systems. While it might be ideal to drop off a kid for an hour a week so that someone else can “fix” them, this approach rarely works. When working with families who have adopted, we pay close attention not only to the adopted child but to the emotional well-being of the entire family. Family therapy can be an important part of the process and is an opportunity to create a safe space for everyone in the family to express what they are actually thinking and feeling. If we can get past the surface to what really moves the family (e-“motion”), then healing, understanding, emotional intimacy, and solutions become more attainable.
3) Encourage, Support, and Empower Parents
Sometimes parents who have adopted find that the agencies, systems, and support that seemed so invested early on have evaporated when they need them most. It is important for parents to feel that they are not alone in their high calling of raising children, but many parents come to us feeling very isolated. Parent sessions are an opportunity to process out loud, vent frustration, discuss parenting strategies and ideas, and find the internal and external resources needed for the long haul.
If you have adopted, or are connected to a family who has adopted, we would be happy to answer any questions you might have about therapy or help you set up an initial appointment. If given the chance, we would be honored to build your trust and help support you on your journey.
